Sunday, January 2, 2011

Energy please

Verb 1. energise - raise to a higher energy level; "excite the atoms"
alter, change, modify - cause to change; make different; cause a transformation; "The advent of the automobile may have altered the growth pattern of the city"; "The discussion has changed my thinking about the issue"
2. energise - cause to be alert and energetic; "Coffee and tea stimulate me"; "This herbal infusion doesn't stimulate"
affect - act physically on; have an effect upon; "the medicine affects my heart rate"
cathect - inject with libidinal energy
reanimate, recreate, revivify, vivify, revive, renovate, animate, quicken, repair - give new life or energy to; "A hot soup will revive me"; "This will renovate my spirits"; "This treatment repaired my health"
reinvigorate, invigorate - impart vigor, strength, or vitality to; "Exercise is invigorating"
liven, liven up, enliven, invigorate, animate - make lively; "let's liven up this room a bit"
de-energise, de-energize - deprive of energy

At the beginning of the year many people make resolutions for the new year. Some simply pick one word and that's what i'm going to do. I decided to make my focus word ENERGISE as this is what i most want and need. I havent been recharging very well for years already so the belief is that by focusing on this word energy will come.
When googled the word comes up as ENERGIZE which of course lead me to this. OK i want to be like brand new energised energizers or would that be energized energisers? Whatever; will these 4 help?

or maybe better yet i'll take one of these:

Right now i haven't got enough energy to check and see if i got this straight so don't be going and googling it cuz you might find totally different info but i think it's a laser that's precisely tuned to energise a layer of sodium atoms that are found in the upper layers of the atmosphere. It's thought to be a leftover from meteorites entering the earths atmosphere....or something like that....

Say what?!?  There's leftovers going to waste? Please land on me instead; i sure could use them!

I have Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. I've had it for 12 years. It's a chronic liver disease that causes slow, progressive distruction of bile ducts in the liver, thereby interfering with the excretion of bile.

Fatigue is the most common complaint of those afflicted with PBC. Most people haven't heard of it and there's still many Drs. who don't understand what it is or what to do about it although it's been around and known for a hundred years or more.

No, i've never been a boozer; thought i should mention it straight up as that's what most people think when they hear the word cirrhosis. I wouldn't deny it if i were/was, honestly! i know nobody cares, but alcohol related liver disease is different than this and most PBC'ers wern't/arn't boozers.  It's an auto-immune disease and really too bad it has this unfortunate C word in it's name because some never do get to the stage of actually having cirrhosis but we're still stuck with the name.

Women are affected 10 times more frequently than men. PBC is usually diagnosed in people 30 - 60 years old and many are diagnosed by finding of an abnormality during routine liver blood tests.

Itching and fatigue are common symptoms along with jaundice, cholesterol deposits in the skin, darkening of the skin (like a permanent suntan) or fluid accumulation in the abdomen and/or ankles. The telling tale for me was an itchy 3" x 4" patch of skin on one arm along with fatigue.

Other disorders associated with PBC are impaired functioning of the tear and salivary glands, arthritis, thyroid problems, renal stones and gallstones.

There's no known cause or cure although a wonderful medicine originally derived from bears bile called Urso, now made synthetically helps some people tremendously and most PBC'ers die from something else.

ENERGY, please find me, there's so much i want to do in this new year of 2011 and not all is selfishly wished for.
energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   energise   


Anonymous said...

I could use more energy. I believe some of my energy would be restored if I lost weight! I would also like to be pain free this year. I believe most of the pain would go away if I lost weight. See a common theme here? I'm not making a new year's resolution to lose weight. I seem to always break resolutions. It would be nice, though, to lose weight. I'll try and work on it; that's the best I can do!

Lorraina said...

IKWYM Linda, and thats why i thought that maybe going with a focus word would be more advantageous. Some say that the chosen word will pop up and work for you all the time when and where you least expect it. That sort of cinched it for me. Energy or energise are good words, i'll share it with you if you want to!

I have osteoarthritis in my back and hips and my Dr. always says to lose weight and excercise and the back and hip pain will go away and then i'll gain energy too. Of course i then retaliate about not having enough energy to even begin to do the excercise or the amount needed to see it through the menu planning, shopping and then fixing the right's a vicious circle.

Like you i'll try and work on it and see if i can.

A Plain Observer said...

I hope you find it, I hope it comes to you. Feeling healthy regardless if we are healthy is what matters.
They say words have power so...say it, bring it to you.
All the best Lorraina. Happy New Year!

Lorraina said...

Thanks Myriam i appreciate your comment. Well, i actually haven't felt healthy for several yrs; the fatigue of pbc is unlike any other fatigue because it takes over the soul, mind and body and i lay around like a limp old rag, no ambition and no motivation to really do anything. Thinking is even too much sometimes. Now i'm making myself sound like a vegetable lol! Not quite there yet!

At best i can keep up my daily artwork even though i'm just doing repetitious stuff i do enjoy making art. One of these days i'll get out the books and learn another technique or something.But right now i'm too tired.

And of course i'm still reading blogs, yours included. Sorry if i don't comment often, sometimes can't think of anything to say or what i'd say has already been said because i'm a night owl and late riser when i came straggling in usually in the evening.
But it meant alot to read your comment and i'll try harder to repay you by commenting on yours.
I did actually write you a private letter about my son but it was so long and rambling i trashed it.
Best wishes for a happy new year for you too!

Snowbrush said...

I am truly sorry you are ill. In 1971, I had what was never diagnosed but was surely some kind of hepatitis. I ran a low-grade fever for months, was tired all the time, and lost 30 pounds, yet my doctor didn't believe I was really sick until I turned yellow. Now, I have a major fear of liver problems. I also take lots and lots of prescription drugs for pain, and I drink about two ounces of vodka a day. I feel that I need all of this, but I also worry. I wish I could make it all better for you. I know what it's like to deal with chronic health problems. In my case, it's pain. In yours, it's something else. I tell myself that my problems won't kill me. At least, there's that. I hope yours won't either. I am greatly moved by this post. I'm now up four hours early waiting for my last pills to kick in, so that maybe I can sleep some more, so please pardon the rambling.

Lorraina said...

Thanks Snow. I'd like it if you come to visit anytime and rambling is what i do too so go for it, anytime, i love it!

Like other PBC'ers i'm a night owl; this just seems to develop somehow in most of us. I find it's easier to breathe and to think and create and the internet is faster in the night. Thats why i'm usually posting after 1AM when my tv shows are over, the house is quiet and i stay up until i'm almost falling down tired, then sleep until noon or 2pm or even more.
Unfortunately no amount of sleep leaves me feeling refreshed; its the same with 12 hrs or 6 hrs sleep; still tired.
To top it off i have osteo in my back and hips as well as difficulty breathing upon the least exertion so i'm basically house bound until Fridays; thats my go day. Go get hair done, go for dinner, go to casino. I'm going to rue the day that has to stop....maybe it already has...New Years eve i went to the casino expecting to stay until the wee hrs. but i was mistaken and home by 10:30! That was a drastic first for me.

It sure does sound like your liver was malfunctioning back in '71 maybe the kidneys as well. But if it hasn't happened since then don't worry about that.

Of course you have to take pain meds when in pain and i don't think a couple oz. vodka can really hurt, esp. if it helps the pain or helps you sleep, in fact probably it's better than extra drugs. I've done my share of drugs, still take alot but one pain med oxcodone OMG!it did me in as did Prednisone; it did vile things to me. Now i try and stay away from drugs ending in one.

Then recently for unknown reason my thyroid med wasn't working well enough and i was always real cold. I chalked it up to it being fall, then winter and as i sat all bundled up on a heat pad and covered with an electric blanket wearing dbl wool socks and 80's leg warmers and still freezing i realized something was wrong and a thyroid test showed that after 47 yrs on the same dose i now needed a 50mg boost.
It just seems like it's always something dosn't it.
The human body is a marvel for some, a mystery to others and mine is a conundrum!

I do hope you get out of the cycle of pain Snow and be gently lulled into the land of nod.

Snowbrush said...

Lorraina, I have sleep apnea, so I for sure know what it's like to sleep ten hours and wait up more tired than when I went to bed. If not for a CPAP, I'm confident that I would be dead by now. Sleep apnea was the most debilitating thing that ever happened to me--even worse than considerable chronic pain.

Yes, narcotics can be devastating. I've had various ones lay me low for days even in a normal dose. Aside from itching and constipation, oxycodone actually works pretty good for me if I don't have to take it regularly. Right now, I take three Neurontin and a Tofranil to get to sleep, and a Norco (hydrocodone) later in the night to stay asleep. You wouldn't believe how many drugs I've tried, but, so far, the Neurontin is the best. None of the narcotics ever stopped the pain--they just made me high, so that the pain didn't get me down so much. I'm now unable to do much at all in the way of physical work, which is something I've always loved, and this year promises many doctors and probably a surgery or two. If I had known five years ago how sorry my life would be now in terms of physical pain and disability, I don't know how I could have stood it. Yet, I have adjusted, and I would even say that I love my life. I wish you could say the same, but I'll admit in a heartbeat that chronic exhaustion is worse than pain unless the pain is so bad that one can't sleep for more than an hour or so at a time, and I've been there too. Fortunately, I'm doing a lot better on a diet of drugs and inactivity.

Lorraina said...

Oh Snow, i feel so bad for you having enough to deal with and then sleep apnea too.I know a little about it; my son has it and uses a CPAP.
Hubby had it for a while, he would stop breathing for long periods of time while i counted myself breathing 6 times or more and i'd have to nudge him to make him breathe again. Anyhow, it stopped happening after we got rid of the waterbed.
I've never been tested for it and it makes me wonder a little but i'm not aware of waking up a lot. Of course i know many people wake up alot but they don't remember. I guess once i learned fatigue was the main issue with PBC i accepted that because i feel that i do actually get lots of sleep, way more than whats normal actually but still wake up too tired to adjust my position or pull the covers over or anything, i just feel so weak i just lie there an extra hour willing myself to move it but can hardly force myself to swing the first leg over the edge and begin my day.

I'm glad the Oxycontin works for you without debilitating constipation. I was so bunged up thought i was going to have to go to the ER and have some unexpecting nice young nurse literally dig it out....sorry for being so graphic but it was that big and it was so painful i was panting like trying to give birth to some huge dry crusty big old 20 lb. piece of jagged cement.OOOO the pain!
Take my word for it and eat lots of fibre and bran and fruits when on Oxy.and drink lots of water too.

I wish the pain pills worked better and without just making one high to enable one to handle it better.
You'd think there could be something that would just kill the dam pain. and have no other syptoms or problems involved that each has to find out on their own. All that stuff is so tiresome to have to wait for weeks for it click in sometimes and then find out one day you wake up with severe hives or something.

I'm happy for you and hope you get a successful surgery done to help you. My Drs. have told me theres no surgery for me.

Like you guess i've adjusted too but still overlook some things and i do resent missing out on lots of things. I loved travelling and did visit some awesome places but now, don't think i can really much or not very far anymore. If i had known this when i was younger and able i would have been out of here instead i wasted years building a garden that has gone downhill fast and to look at it now it's nothing. All that effort was wasted and now have to settle for seeing the world on tv.

Speaking of inactivity, thats the story of my life for the past few yrs. One of these days i'll get courageous and join a gym in my neighborhood and give it my best shot and see what happens.At the same time maybe do Jenny Craig and make losing weight and getting in shape a worthwhile thing.

I think i have an easier time with less pain than you have, by a long shot. I can fit it into my life easier than you can. My pain is just in the back and hips and so i can still visit the casinos because theres lots of seats there and sitting is all i need for pain relief. And i guess because i love to play poker so much i'll make that happen somehow for sure. But travelling...i see that being lined with problems starting from the airport and get turned off right away. For a while i thought cruises were the best thing but now i think of how big those ships are and soooo much walking.
So for now anyway i'm content to do nothing new and go nowhere else simply because it makes me tired thinking of all the activities i'd want to do when i get there.

Snowbrush said...

I haven't had oxycontin (I think you confused it with oxycodone, and they are related, but oxycontin is a time-released version of oxycodone), but I've had upward of ten other narcotics, and I think they would constipate anyone, but if you take lots of sodium docusate and eat lots fiber, it helps immensely. I know of a man who did end up in the ER after a hernia surgery because his doctor--like the one who did my hernia surgery--didn't bother to tell him to take sodium docusate. I actually think that constitutes malpractice. Now, of course, I know more than most people about narcotics.

I've had two shoulder surgeries. Both came with a prolonged recovery, but I am still in as much pain as ever. I will almost certainly have a shoulder replacement this year, and maybe a spinal surgery as well.

As for casinos, I drove through Vegas once, years ago, and lost a quarter in a slot machine, and then continued my trip feeling rather upset with myself at it. I also went to a convention at an Oregon casino five years ago, but I never even thought about gambling. I don't understand why people do it, but, of course, many enjoy it so much that they go weekly.

I too put off some traveling, but I didn't realize that it's not the same trip when you're old that it would have been when you were young. That said, I no longer have any desire to travel.

Lorraina said...

You are right Snow; i did mean Oxycodone, not Oxycontin. Thats why i always say i'll never take a med that ends in 'one' again.

Concerning the surgeries; is the intent of these to get you out of pain entirely? Or can a Dr. even actually say that or predict with a percentage of chance on it? And do you yourself feel that is what will happen after you've recovered? It would be so worth it if that is what's expected and i hope and pray that it'll take away 100% of your pain.
Of course it'll be worthwhile to go into it thinking even 25% better.....10% better, any amount so long as it's better than what it is eh!

Well, i sure got a laugh about you losing your quarter and feeling upset. Next time you're in a casino try putting in another quarter and honest to God Snow, you'll win at least .75 I wouldn't bs you about that, in fact i can almost guarantee it!

Then you'll always be able to say you're a ***WINNER***

unlike me who's just home from my casino night and again they got all i took with me. But i'm not worried because there's next week when surely they'll give it all back + extra!
Well, that's the plan anyhow.

Snowbrush said...

I've had two rotator cuff repairs, but the pain is still there, presumably due to arthritis. Complete shoulder replacements would probably eliminate the pain, but nothing is guaranteed. I am currently anticipating one partial shoulder replacement in order to maintain maximum function. First though, I'll see a surgical neurologist to rule out nerve involvement since I know I have pain in my shins that is caused by syringomyelia in my neck. This is a condition that can cause shoulder pain also.

Lorraina said...

omg if it isn't one thing it's something else worse eh. I wasn't sure of syringomyelia so googled it and read that it's sure another nasty thing to have.I am so sorry you have this to deal with too.
I do admire you Snow for knowing and understanding all that ails you. I can be so dense sometimes but you know how some people can say something like "when it's colds and flu season i just take extra vitamin C and then i never get sick" or "i feel much better since i started taking vitamin B"
Well, i have never had the experience or known my own body well enough to be able to tell if there's any difference doing or taking whatever; i just stay the same always.

And it's sad; i should feel embarrassed actually that i couldn't really explain PBC if my life depended on it. Guess i could say enough on it but i think i'm probably explaining wrong on most of it. Disgusting eh! But i can live with that and the people who get wrong info really could care less.

I do read my support group daily so should know enough but maybe that's partly the problem - there's alweays someone new asking the same old questions and i just get tired of thinking of it so much, so guess i'm in denial, except i do know its responsible for keeping me so fatigued.

Perhaps if i were more aware of my ailments i could help myself better but probably not.
Besides the PBC theres our old friend Arthritis and God knows there's not much can be done for that. Mine is osteo and i think yours is rheumatoid? Or both. I don't usually take pain pills because they're hard on my already compromised liver; but maybe it's also never have enough pain really to take anyway. I stay home most of the time and can rest alot anytime, all day 24/7
But ocassionally have to go for clothes or a few groceries; the items that hubby can't find, or he dosn't know what i mean if i can't think of a products name and especially treats...he brings mostly the things he likes and says well i thought you liked them too and it's true, i eat whatever he brings. But he hates cream cheese, dips, sauces, creamed soups,mushrooms and fresh herbs so many things will never arrive if i don't go get mocha yogurt and the like because he "can't find"them
So last week i went for these few things, got my hair done, and went to the drugstore to see if they had any of the old style lightbulbs left. I was in pain and agony for 4 days over that little excursion.
I can't believe i shopped every store in town incl. Costco to feed the 5 of us for years and cleaned and cooked ironed and slaved and did the garden, looked after my own car etc and now i'm such a wimp. It's so depressing! getting old is not fun like they told us it was.
Well, i'm hopeful you'll be able to get your partial shoulder which if i understand this correctly you want the Drs. to find no syringmyelia? Is that the make it or break it issue facing whether you get the surgery?
God, i hope and i'll pray for you to get started on the road to recovery, one surgery at a time and the new improved Snow will rise from the ashes asap.