Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Want to become a Canadian?

Apparently it's not that hard. A pamphlet titled "A Guide to Becoming an Authentic Canadian" is being distributed at an information kiosk not far from the Olympic cauldron on the Vancouver waterfront.

Any Canucks reading? if you're sensitive stop reading now. I found it to be quite funny and true.

You can read the whole guide in two one minutes.

Step 1: "Know Your Canadian Icons." Beaver, maple leaf, Canada goose, moose, bears, Mounties, toques, loonies and toonies. Toque? That's a wooly hat, pronounced "too-k." Loonie? A one dollar coin, so nicknamed because it has a swimming loon on one side of it. Toonie? A two dollar coin, which features a polar bear. "Toonie just sounds better than Polar Bearie," says the pamphlet

Step 2: "Eat and Drink Like a Canadian." Salmon, donut holes, Canadian bacon, lobster, maple syrup, beer and poutine. Poutine? It "sounds terrible, looks worse, but tastes delicious," the pamphlet reads. It is made with fries, cheese curds and gravy. Yum, maybe.

Step 3: "Walk and Talk Like a Canadian." We learn that "eh" can be used as a statement, direction or question. And, of course, "zed" is the last letter of the alphabet.

Step 4: "Play Like a Canadian." Ice hockey. Say no more.

Step 5: "Know the Maple Leaf." We're told the familiar Canadian flag did not become official until 1965 because Canadians "were too busy eating poutine and watching hockey to get to it any sooner."

Step 6: "Learn Our National Anthem." Words in both English and French!

Step 7: A quick quiz in which we learn that the number of points on the maple leaf signifies absolutely nothing.

Step 8: Print my name in the blank, and I'm now "somewhat officially authentically Canadian." Cool, eh? Pass the poutine!

© 2010 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.

I took this from the Vancouver Sun online newspaper. It didn't say who wrote it so hope thats enuff acknowledgment.

I just want to add to step #1  i'm sure everyone calls it a toque, don't they?

And when we had our chance to help name the coins i said "doubloon" for the $2.  Still think it could have been good, but too late, we're used to toonie now.

Step #3  yeah "eh" pronounced "ayyy" is something we do too much i guess but habits are hard to break.

The zed one might be hard for some. I remember being on the phone with a lady in Florida and had to give her my postal code. It happens to have a Z in it. I kept saying 3 Z 2 and she was like can you repeat that? huh? say what? pardon me? i didn't clue in and just kept repeating 
3 zed 2.
Eventually i caught on to the problem and so i sez "you know - the last letter of the alphabet" to which she replies "well! humphhh, that would be zee!"
Well, it was funny at the time.


Lalala said...

Haha! funny Canadians!!

Poutine. I had to google the pictures to believe... Really? do you really eat that?

Lorraina said...

You don't know poutine!?!!Its funny but i have a French-Canadian son-in-law who'se family was in the cheese making business. Most Quebec'ers love cheese; but he dosn't eat that much poutine but he sure eats tons of cheese on everything else alot, he even loves Kraft dinner. My grandkids buy poutine in the school cafeteria and its at most ice rinks and McD's, Wendy, KFC, A&W, BK, i guess the only version i know is these so i probably havent had a really good version. Some cheap places just melt mozza on the fries.

Lalala said...

My gosh.... at first I thought melting cheese was weird on fries. But then I thought about American Chili fries and nachos.
But that Gravy stuff over it.... who would have thought that?????
I also saw Canadian people using vinegar on fries, why making it soggy?

haha, culture shock!

Lorraina said...

Vinegar on fries...because it makes them taste good. I like plain vinegar, my dh likes malt. I like balsamic vinegar on some things like the pizza crust but not so much on fries.
I dunno, guess we need a change from poutine. Just sprinkle on, dip in ketchup, eat fast and don't wait to let them get soggy. But if they get soggy they still taste good.

Lalala said...

I will try your method next time when I eat fries. Very curious.